and a new themesong for love

I can follow this idea - I will rather have my blind faith that one day HE will show up, than get smacked in the face by reality and settle with someone wrong.

Well - and let's be honest.. this guy can knock on my door any day ;) There will be many glasses of wine drunk and candles lit while he plays on the stereo.. too bad he hasn't made a LP.. a little vinyl sound would suit him.

Post D-day.

1 week ago the day finally arrived... I turned 30, and guess what.. I survived ;)

I had been so busy planning and cooking the days before, that I didn't really have time to sit down and wallow in in the fact that I was turning 30.

It was a lovely day - I got up early to finish the After Eight cupcakes for work - spreading the topping while watching an episode of Castle on the computer - my mom baked buns and prepared breakfast meanwhile.. then my Aunt, brother and sister-in-law came by for a birthday breakfast before we all had to go to work.. all in all a lovely start on my birthday.

Ohh and best of all.. guess what I got... ihhhh you can't can you.. I got the best "Aid" ever! - meet my baby :

*Sigh*... isn't it a beauty! Of cause I had to try it out straight away - so after work I made 6 sugar-bread layers for my birthday cake.. and it was amazing.. I have now cleaned and polished it, and stuffed it back in the box for safe keeping until I move out one day, and can offer it a proper spot in my new kitchen :)


Right, then I spend 2 more days cooking and baking for my birthday party - well it was an open house, cause I am flat broke after a year of unemployment, so I didn't have the money for a big fancy party.

I made all the food myself, which also saved me some cash, and boosted my ego after everyone was in awe over my creativity... I wasn't very impressed myself.. maybe it just shows that some ppl are very little creative and are impressed with almost anything hehe.. but then I didn't have to rage over the stupid cake that absolutely did NOT turn out the way I had hoped... note to self - don't wait until the big day to have a go with sugar-paste for the first time ever...

Yeah.. I know.. what do I look like! I just don't do photos very well hehe.. but look at my pink polka.dot cake !

And the night was spend with good friends chatting and laughing, and the sunday I spend with my mates playing a game they gave me:

I am a sucker for geeky games and horror movies, so a boardgame where you have to kill zombies is right up my ally.. even though my brother and I teamed up and lost 3 games in a row.. we are certain that we are both cursed with "the curse of the crap dice"... we just couldn't roll more than a 3! I think I have to buy some new pink dice for the game...or maybe some rotten-flesh-green ones ;)

So I can conclude that it wasn't so bad turning 30.. I lived.. I didn't get any new wrinkles overnight, and the great finger of judgement didn't point at me and laugh... At least I now have 1 thing to cross off the list - a job :) I absolutely love my new job at the local fire department - lovely ppl and all the files I can organise.. <3 Hopefully by September I will also have found an apprenticeship, and then it's just an apartment missing.. have a feeling that wont be much longer either :)

Stereotyping myself...... not my best idea.

Whinging period is over.... at least while I wait for answers from all the companies... I guess it's my right as a woman to pout, be unreasonable and whinge every now and then ;)

So this whole "Pre-30-project" has taken me to a new phase - let's say we got to phase 2 ( number 1 being the one where I panicked over everything), and I am trying to figure out who I am as a type... so I've looked at women stereotypes, and where i could fit in.... And more interesting - where I would like to fit in, but don't...

I found it even harder trying to categorise some types - but here we go - I tried picking the ones where i think I at some point belonged, or thought I belonged:

"The dollface sheep"
- The most common group in the teen years, girls looking like each other in pretty much every way - same hair colour ( the one that's In atm), same clothing, same principles ( if any at all), they don't have a single independent thought - all that matters is that you don't leave the house without make-up, the right clothes and your hair done.
Why I didn't fit in: I was never skinny or stupid enough, and too lazy.

"One of the boys"
- Talk like a trucker, burp and swear, hanging out with the boys and trying to be cool in their eyes. Baggy Jeans, Skater-sneakers and Hoodies. Picking fights and bad-mouthing the "Dollface sheep".
Why I didn't fit in: Even thought I can burp along with the best of them, I felt like I was ripped of my femininity - I like doing my nails, "Doll'ing up" - and I hate fighting.

"The Musician/ Boho"
- You either sing, play an instrument or have an incredible knowledge about music - the right kind of cause. Clothes are second hand, but carefully chosen out to look just right - you go to concerts and have an active social-life, going out often to listen to music with your equal-minded friends. You date other musician-types.
Why I didn't fit in: I can't play any instruments, or sing (outside the shower), I couldn't participate in the conversations - I tried hard though - this was a wonderful time.

"The nature girl"
- Long walks in the Woods, they are into wattle and gardening. Clothing is usually Wellies, jeans and a knitted sweater. For vacations they like trekking in the mountains or horseback riding. An all around healthy rosy-cheeked girl.
Why I didn't fit in: I do on many of the points - but I hate walking... I am a lazy person, and on my vacations I prefer to enjoy the scenery from a cozy little sidewalk café, or on a scooter.

And then where I would like to place myself now:

"The office chick"
- Pencil skirts, blazers, silk blouses and pumps - immaculate make-up and hair, works 9 to 5, doesn't need help from anyone, earns her own money. Weekends are cocktails and dinner-parties - her home is carefully decorated and neat.
Why this life: Why not? wriggle along and live on the fast-track. Though - what is missing here is the kids I hope to get one day.

Where I would place myself :

"The nestbuilder"
- Bakes, pickles, sew, knits, cooks and cleans. DYI is a philosophically maxim. The home is characterized by the many projects going on - a bit messy. A family is high on the list, and the centre of attention. In lack of husband and kids, there is a cat or tiny dog that gets more attention than it would care to get. Job is only to earn a living.

And in my case: without a job or own nest.
What's wrong with that?: Well - I am 29... not an old maid.. I should be taking advantage of the fact that the 30's are the new 20's - and get out more. At least for a few years.


So I am a sad cat-lady that fills her time with creative projects.... where have I heard this before... hmm.. Oh yeah! That's the outcome of the new tendency among my age group - being single is cool, no strings attached - it creates women like me.. and also a huge group of young men who live like hermits. I know so many of my kind - a new Stereotype, thanks a lot you fecking feckers that came up with the idea that being on your own is great - might be if your skinny, rich and a tramp.. but when your 50, tits hanging, botox paralysed your face and no one wants you any more... I am gonna show up with a big fat sign saying

I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

Think I got sidetracked in the end there....

Status

So.. what's the status with me and my plans.. 4 months before I turn 30.... I could lie and say everything played out how I wanted it to.. but then you would have known - I would have posted a looooong post about how fab my new apartment was - incl. pictures :P

So yes... nothing has changed... God, it's depressing when I write it down.. makes it more real.. oh well, Rome wasn't build in 1 day either :P

So - I still live at my parents... on the sofa - well sofa has been replaced by another sofa-bed.. less comfy - but the sofa was my brothers and he wanted it back.. thanks a lot...
I still haven´t found an apprenticeship yet, but tomorrow I am sending out another 21 applications - so with a bit of luck (keeping fingers crossed).

I am doing something though - taking an accounting-course at the moment - to get more competencies within my field.

Also I have started to seriously consider if I should start my baby-plans myself, and get inseminated... Finding the right guy is hard... to be honest I don't expect the unreal - I know relationships aren't always forever... but a guy who I would share a child with, that I know would be a good father even if we aren't together - that is more than I can hope for right now...

God.. this got a bit serious... I guess my ovaries are just pounding atm.. and the biological clock is ticking pretty loud :P A good friend just had another baby - my cousin just announced that she is having number 2 as well, and so on and so on.. it's apparently baby-boom time again next year.

Well - do me a favour all, (yes all 4 of you :P) - and cross your fingers for me and my 21 applications.. so that I can move out and start over in the beginning of the new year - before the big 30 hits - and so that I can blog about interesting things - and not just whine and complain like today - I would much rather blog about how I went nuts with DIY projects in my new apartment and accidentally cut the power off , or post pictures of my interior decoration trials.

So for now - go find an interesting blog to read :P there is bound to be some out there that doesn't involve peoples children or cooking recipes... though that's what I usually fall over :P

Addictions.....

So.... We all have addictions of some sort - I have many...

Health-wise only a few of them are bad - My smoking and my lust for chocolate... yes it is lust...

But oh, I have so many many more...

Collecting:

Hats... And I never seem to have an occasion to wear them...
Shoes... And I usually only ever wear the same pair, cause my fat healthy wide feet cant fit into narrow stiletto's, but they just look so pretty in the shop and whisper to me...
Clothes in general... and still I never seem to have anything to wear...
Craft materials... because you never know when you would like to felt a pony...
Stuff for my future home... oh the boxes.. the boxes stuffed with all kinds of junk, from pillowcases to antique plates with gold edges...
Old junk I find adorable... I would make a fantastic bag-lady.. but I would need the world largest shopping-trolley...

Time wasters:
World of Warcraft... I am trying to cut back a lot, and have had a long break recently - gaming doesnt do much good for my tan ;) or my lumps and bumps...
Series... Ohh the biggest time-stealer ever! I must be following a million series - I found out that you could find almost all series on the internet streaming - some really good pay-sites out there.. and then what happens... I don't have to wait a week to see what happens in Gossip Girl.. I just watch episode after episode.. until I actually have to wait, cause there are no more episodes out.. and it gives time to watch Buffy all over again.. and Sex and the city... and Gilmore Girls.. and Bones... and House.. and find series I never knew existed!!... and you get the picture now?
80's and Horror films... Do I actually have to explain this??? Who wouldn't want to spend a whole weekend re-visiting the Breakfastclub or Army of Darkness! (Just bought a Karatekid box set - can't wait for the weekend!!!)
The internet in general... Yes.. why go out and be social when you can sit at home, go on Facebook, play games, listen to music and watch videos of stupid people on YouTube... Right now I am "watching" YouTube, Blogging, on Facebook and Googling stuff... oh and loading an episode of House so it is ready when I am done here...
Crafting... If I am not gluing something together or spreading beads all over my table.. I am not happy...

So you see - I have enough things to keep me busy..... Also conveniently keeping me from dealing with the realities atm.. Like the lack of Job, Home and Man..

Don't try and tell me you don't have at least 3 addictions that keep you happily ignorant about your current situation ;)



(Picture from http://www.nataliedee.com)

Born in the wrong decade..

Ever since I can remember, I have loved the 50's - music, design, style and most of all, the way women were women and men were men.

I might be stepping on some feminist toes now, but I feel the whole "equal rights" thing has gone a bit too far - of cause I think women and men are equal when it comes to jobs, payment and other essential living conditions.. But then something went wrong.. now we have power women, who act just like men - and call men "the weaker sex".. isn't that just as bad.. even worse than what we had before.. at least men used to hold the door, pull out the chair, and buy us beautiful things.. now the power women are trying to make men into shape-able lumps of meat - be soft and in touch with their feelings, do the dishes and clean the house - then afterwards when they tried so hard to please us - we get turned off by the softness..

I would prefer a "Mans man" any day - I don't mind being the woman - doing the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children. I want a man who adores me and treats me like a lady - holds the door and gives me his coat if I am cold. I want to spoil my man, and make sure I am pretty for him every day, not wearing unflattering sweats and unshaven legs.
It's a compromise - If I want a real man who brings home the bacon and takes care of me, I should give something back - and I am not a girl who likes to share her toys - so he should not be looking at other ladies - If we want our men to stay rugged and handsome, we should not complain when they want us to stay pretty ;)


Well - besides from the whole gender thing, I also love the fashion of the 50's - cute cardigans and pencil skirts - women had hips and breasts - and the clothing was flattering and brought out the lovely shapes - no skinny twig girls like today. Ohh to be able to dress up in that every day, wriggle down the street wearing gloves and a hat.. *Sigh* I am not shaped for it at the moment - so I keep to a few clothing items that gives me a feel of the 50's - and then I go nuts with curlers and shoes.
And luckily I am not the only girl who loves the 50's - so every now and then I find places to shop or get ideas - One of my absolute favourites is Miss Vera - a fantastic girl named Camille started her own brand of Rockabilly & Pinup clothing and accessories, and they are to die for!
I linked her Blog and web-store for you :)

I would like to say that my home shows my affection of the 50's.. but as I mentioned in one of the first blogs - I am currently living on a sofa in a living-room - so no.. but my boxes are filled with vintage kitchen-appliances, pictures etc... so usually it shows.

My dream is to open a dance-hall - like they used to make them - with a big-band and all, but that's another blog, another day.

Plenty more fish in the sea.....

Who in the world came up with that phrase? Not only is it not helpful, it's straight on misleading! The last thing you want to think of when you just broke up with someone is that there are plenty more out there to break up with later on, and usually when someone uses that phrase, you don't want anyone else.

Well, and yes, it's misleading and a big fat lie! There might be plenty of men/women out there, but the main part of them are either small baby-fish that are too young, old toothless fish that are.. well too old, or big bully fish that you have to try and avoid - maybe even poisonous! The few good and proper aged ones are either on someone else's hook, or darn rare!

It feels more like trying to find a vacant pool of fish to fish in during the Kaluak fishing derby ( sorry, very nerdy reference), than having your pick among prizewinning salmons.. And we all know that it's not like they jump out of the water and into your lap by themselves... Catching a big one takes time and patience - no wonder why so many of us keep the little ones we catch because we're afraid another one wont bite ever again.. so sitting patiently on the dock, waiting for the big one to come along seems hopeless.. and if we wait too long, we aren't strong enough any more, (well - pretty and perky enough really) to wheel it in.

So should we just erase that stupid phrase from our vocabulary entirely or what!
And while we're at it.. "You have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince"... eeewww - but why?? Why do we have to dig through the trash to find the good stuff? And being a ex-girlfriend to a couple of guys.. well most of us are someone's ex.. that makes us frogs! So what does that mean? That the princes and princess's out there are only the ones that have never been kissed, and ... well what about the one doing the kissing.. just doesn't make sense.. so another phrase to toss in the bin...

So according to the phrases of love, we should be looking for a frogfish prince.. doesn't sound very handsome now does it... so lets keep the animal kingdom out of the love-finding references from now on.