Acting accordantly to age....

I am pretty sure, that I as a 29 year old am suppose to act differently than I am.. according to the "norm".
I should have a steady job - trying to make a career, own my own home, or at least have a fab flat somewhere in the city, host dinner parties for my friends, have a significant other that I can go on vacations with, and maybe even a few kids..... Weekends should be spend on cocktails with my girlfriends, or dinners at friends with my man.... acting maturely and grown-up.

But even though some of it sounds kinda nice - that's not how I roll... yet at least.

I am still under education - I don't have a dream of a career in the fast lane - I just want to be a secretary, dress up in cute pencil-skirts and silk blouses, make coffee and make sure all the wheels are turning.. And I am pretty good at it too! I am a natural assistant, I aim to please and multi-task.. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting more.. in my opinion.

I don't have a significant other - besides my cat (oh yes - I am a cat-lady, but that's a whole different story). But this part I would like to change.. just not the easiest thing in the world to find a good man at my age.. most of them are already taken, and the rest seems to be hiding ( also another blog-entry in the future).

Cocktails with the girlfriends does sound nice - you just don't get a lot of cocktail bars where I live - we have a dodgy bodega with a pool-table.. that's it....

So I spend my time reading, gaming, crafting and playing cards with my best friend.... probably doesn't sound very fascinating... but I am quite happy for the time being.

But don't think I am an ignorant, unaware and simple-minded girl because of it.... I follow politics - always vote and take pride in knowing who stands for what, and how that affects me and the world around me. I know my history, and aim to know what goes on in the world around me - I don't let others dictate what I should think, but make my own opinions based on facts and experience.
I have an open mind, and will try everything once (unless it is obviously stupid), I don't judge a book by it's cover, and I know that every story has two sides.

I am a shy person, and that tends to come of as being a snob or just plain bitchy - and I can be bitchy - oh deary yes I can... I am a woman for gods sake - I have done it all, backstabbing, badmouthing etc.. I would like to meet the woman that claims never to have.... And if you do me wrong, your not likely to be forgotten in this century.. But I have never been a leader, by choice anyway, I don't have the skills for it.
Oh.. where was I going with this... ah yes - I think I was trying to explain that I am just like any other person out there - even if I don't follow the norms of what you should be doing at my age - I am just not busy growing up too fast - it sounds so final.. and dull... I just want to enjoy life and keep my playful side for as long as I can :)

My geeky side.....

So..... All though I am very girly, and can spend hours doing my nails, or my hair etc. , I also have a less girly girl side - and that is my geeky side.

I blame my brothers - growing up with 2 older brothers and no other girls, makes you adapt to the "manly ways" - only problem is - I didn't learn how to fix my scooter, or beat up cheeky boys.. I learned how to play Dungeons and Dragons, play computer games and how to love Lord of the rings.... So here I sit today.. age 29, and just spend the last 4½ hours playing World of Warcraft on my PC, and I enjoyed it!

I also fiddle a bit with Warhammer.. yes... the tiny figurines that you paint - no wait, first you spend a fortune on buying them.. and you need at least 100 of them.. then you paint them - and show off to your fellow Warhammer-players, then you fight someone else on a table.. well your figurines do.. you stand on your side of the table, making faces and swearing, while mumbling lucky words to your dices before rolling them.. and if failing, you have to act as if the gods have called several curses upon you and raise your fist in anger...
To be honest I mostly watch the others play - I am too cheap to spend 200 pounds on small plastic figurines.. I could be spending that money on shoes! ( Here I am still mostly a girly girl), but I have a few myself, and when I play, I just borrow one of my brothers armies - he has several, so why should I spend money on that.

But when it comes to World of Warcraft, I also spend silly money on it.. have to have the Collectors Edition of new expansions... you get a cute pet in the game you now! And you get a cool giant box you can.. hmmm well I don't have it out in the open.. it's in a box somewhere, due to the "living on a sofa" issue.

So that's my little "dark" secret... I am not embarrassed.. and I don't mind admitting I am a proud geek - If it wasn't for my geeky side, I wouldn't have met a lot of the absolutely lovely people I know today.

So - explore your other sides... don't miss out on all the fun because it "feels weird" - the books alone in the fantasy genre is worth a peak ;) Or maybe drop the 4 inches of make-up for one day, and go stick your head under the hood of your car and learn a few things on your own.. And you guys could get a facial, or draw a bubble bath... can't really think of any other girly things that men could find nice ;)

Doing stuff on my own.

As mentioned, I am closing in on 30, and after a long time of waiting for things to happen for me - I decided that a girl's gotta take responsibility for her own life, and make things happen!

So, as a part of my new "Get satisfied with your life before turning 30" project, I decided, that the first thing was to find out if I could stand my own company, so I took a week abroad - to Tunisia to be specific - on my own.

I have always loved to travel - and I have tried to travel between destinations alone before - that doesn't scare me.. I love it! But a whole week - in Tunisia - all alone.. that scared me a bit.

It started fine - check in at airport - get on plane - eat incredibly nasty food on plane - land - begin to grasp that everything is in french.... oh no.. My French vocabulary is as good as non existing.. It's ok - I can handle it.. noooo problem.. they also seem to speak a tiiiny bit of Deutsch - and I can remember a bit from school.. - Meet Danish guides ( thank god) - get on bus to hotel - uhhh hotel looks niiice - get into room ( all good there as well)... and then the vacation started.

It was actually quite a nice hotel - big pool, all inclusive meals, nice staff and my room was great.. besides from the obvious lack of TV channels in English - there is a limit for how long BBC news can stay interesting... and watching American movies synchronised to French, is really frustrating!
The first couple of days went by fast- I read my book, ate in the restaurant ( uhhh I tell you, they had a huuuuge table with cakes for every meal.. so long diet!) and slept.. On the 3'rd day I finally got myself together and went down to the pool - but there is something about being alone among a ton of other people.. you feel more alone - and I couldn't really leave the hotel after getting told ( and experiencing, the one time I left the hotel on my own) that the local men weren't the most polite, or respectful.
So there I sat.. on day no. 3 - and felt utterly alone.. But at dinner I met a Danish couple I had spoken to briefly on the first day - and we ended up hanging out the last 5 days ( later another couple joined in, and we had a great time) - so I was saved from my loneliness, and got to leave the hotel and see the area.. together with others.
But even though I was thankful for meeting these people, I also felt as if I got cheated out of my "Single girl-power vacation" - not because of the people I met, but because of the location I had chosen... A place where I couldn't be myself, couldn't go out for dinner alone, or rent a scooter and drive around the island...

So next time ( and there will be one) I am choosing a location where the locals speak English, men are more respectful of women, not an Islamic area ( not because of the religion, I have all the respect in the world for religions, but because I couldn't go out on my own, or get drunk because of the traditions) , and not at a hotel stuffed with people.. I am thinking a nice little straw-hut on a beach in Fiji maybe.. just me, my books, a ton of alcohol and maybe some fit surfer dudes to look at....

To blog or not to blog

Why not...... seems to be the *thing* to do these days, and who am I to question what is hip and what is not.... I'll just jump on the bandwagon, and enjoy the ride.

So..... what can I bring to this relationship? Hmm, well anything I want to I guess - it's my blog. And you can bring whatever you like - pity, anger, love, understanding, criticism or nothing at all.

My main motivators - my m&m's, for starting this blog... well I guess you can hide a bit more here.. and not care too much about what others think.. I mean, if you visit my blog, it is to read it - you can hardly stumble over it, read the content, and then be annoyed with me "sharing crap about myself that you don't care about".. it's not Facebook.

I am almost 30.... less than a year away lies the big 3 0 ..... I don't think it would creep me out as much, if things were different when I turned 29.. but they weren't.... I was at the time.. unemployed, single, still too fat, and best of all - living on a sofa in my parents spare living-room... I am still all those things... had a very short, brighter period, where I went to a course in business economics and IT, and actually thought things might change.. but no...

I wonder where my 20's went - I sure as hell didn't use them. No memories of wild parties, casual sex, meaningful relationships, or even dating strangers. What a waste.... But at least I now know, not to waste my 30's aswell - it's never too late.